*comedic purposes*

If you’ve ever held a grudge on a moon sign, quick rundown:

Aries: tell them they’re mediocre at the thing they do best

Taurus: call them liars

Gemini: can’t hurt Satan, sorry.

Cancer: “nobody likes you”

Leo: “your opinions are wrong and you’re getting bald”

Virgo: “wow, aren’t you getting plump?”

Libra: “all your friends actually hate you and you look like a crackho”

Scorpio: don’t.

Sagittarius: “your tastes in indo-european abstract literature are for children” / just look at them and laugh whenever they say something actually fascinating

Capricorn: “you’re never going to be good enough”

Aquarius: call them basic.

Pisces: “my pets hate you”